Rachel Allison
Four sons, one son-in-law, and five grandsons are reason enough to be concerned about the plague of pornography that is so available on our computers, “smart” phones, tablets, and every other devise that can access the internet. Because of the availability, addictions can be developed and fed almost any time and anywhere.
Several years ago my husband worked as a public defender. Many of his clients had committed heinous sexual crimes, and of these clients, many admitted that their addiction to pornography played a major role in advancing their actions. My husband repeatedly warned our sons to avoid pornography at all costs. “Crash the computer if you must.” “Immediately flip the channel, or turn off the television.” “When you see it, you will know it.” “Avoid it like the sickness and disease that it is.”
Fast forward ten years, and my oldest son is in medical school. It soon became obvious that his roommates’ fathers didn’t have the same conversation with their sons. Our son would often enter his apartment to find not only his male roommates, but also several of their female friends watching graphic pornographic videos. Playboy magazines were always lying around the apartment. We could only hope and pray that our warnings and counsel helped hold our son strong in each situation he encountered.
I often wondered what kind of doctors these young men would become. When their “entertainment” focused on something so degrading to women, how could their education and their lives develop unimpeded in an upward and positive direction? I’m sure they would have argued that it was simply an entertaining past-time pursuit and that there would be no negative consequence. But statistics, studies, and observing the destroyed lives and relationships of those who are caught in the web of pornographic addiction are all proof that they would be naïve and sadly mistaken to make such an argument.
Jo Fidgen‘s article, “Do we know whether pornography harms people?” states
“Pornography has been linked to unrealistic attitudes about sex, beliefs that women are sex objects, more frequent thoughts about sex, and children and young people who view pornography tend to hold less progressive gender role attitudes.”
Years ago I read the book, “A War We Must Win” by John Harmer. The war he references is the war against pornography. If there are naysayers to the harmful effects of pornography this book with all its references would be a must read. I recently read a comment by “Jefe,” a reader of Harmer’s book whose evaluation is verbalized well.
Jefe, writes:
…Mr Harmer is…very well acquainted with numberless persons with shattered lives because of this insidious addiction…. The book itself explains how something that has always been considered abhorent, repugnant, or in any other way offensive to what should be “common decency” has been able to survive and thrive under constitutional protection and other legal tricks. It leaves no doubt that this form of “entertainment” is no less destructive than addictive drugs, but is in reality more destructive because it is dealt in subtlety and craftiness, disguised and packaged as entertainment. Mr. Harmer makes a point to demonstrate that porn is promoted through a gradual desensitization of society through currently acceptable forms of entertainment,…
According to Rabbi Shmuley, pornography is incredibly harmful and destructive to marriages. Pornography subtlety undermines male respect for women by detaching a woman’s personality from her body, reducing her to a mere sexual commodity, he says. This in turn bores men and leads to dissatisfaction with their own wives and an inability to create a fulfilling, authentic sex life based on mutual respect for their female counterparts…. “The principle sin of porn is not one of commission but omission. All the erotic energy that should be focused on the woman in your life is being wasted. Your eroticism is being punctured, leaving your relationship boring and predictable.”
All these years I have been concerned about pornography ruining the lives of my sons and grandsons. The more I educate myself to its tentacles of destruction, the more I worry for my daughter, daughters-in-law and granddaughters. Their lives are just as precious, and they would be the innocent victims if the men in their lives succumb to this evil. This is a war worthy of our every effort…it is the war we must win.
How can we take a stand?
1. When you see it, you will know it. Walk into stores that display it. Calmly talk to the manager. He will most likely tell you that his hands are tied. So write to the corporate offices. Encourage like-minded men and women to also write.
2. Talk to your children. Warn them. I have read and heard several times that we should start warning our children as young as 7 and 8 about this issue. How sad is that?
3. Get filters on all computers, and make sure these computers are always placed in rooms with lots of traffic flow.
4. Collect all smart phones and tablets at night. Your children won’t need them after everyone has retired to their rooms…right?
These are just four suggestions. Again, when you see pornography, you will know it. Don’t ignore it. Take a stand! And know that I, for one, will be fighting along side of you.