March 10, 2023
by Abby Cherry
Facing the truth that you will never live under the same roof as both of your parents at the same time is something I wish no one in the world had to experience. Growing up, I was blessed to be raised in a home with a mom and a dad. I was able to turn to both my mom and my dad at different times for different needs, and they raised me into the woman and mother I am today.
Many children do not have the opportunity to have both a mom and a dad in their lives. In fact, there is an increasing rate of divorce in the world today leaving children without one parent or the other. Children who are put through a parental divorce are at risk for many different problems that usually arise in their adolescent years. These children might face challenges like low grades in school, depression, substance use problems, adolescent adjustment problems, etc. It has also been seen that children who come from divorced parents are more likely to end up living in poverty, as well as engaging in risky sexual behavior.
The National Review published an article in November 2022 titled, “Divorce Makes Kids More Vulnerable to Getting Hurt Online.” This article, written by W. Bradford Wilcox and Riley Peterson focuses on the effect that divorce has on children. More specifically, it focuses on the effect that divorce has on children’s decisions when it comes to social media and the virtual world. Children of divorced parents are more likely to spend more time on screens, whether it is social media or video games. It was shown that teens ranging between 11-18 years old from non-intact families spend about 2 hours more on media than those from intact homes.
Devices can be used for good, but there is also a negative side to them. The more screen time you have, the more stress is stimulated, as well as a lack of sleep due to low levels of melatonin. Sleep deprivation is also higher among the teens that come from non-intact families. Coming from a non-intact family and having excessive screen time are risk factors for emotional instability and problems. There are many single parents out there that are doing the best that they can for their children! Yet children who are able to be raised and live in a home with both parents seem to do better in navigating the real world, as well as the online world of social media and games.
If you are not able to be in a stable marriage, there are still things that you can do to help your children manage their screen time and decrease their risk of emotional instability. Here are some things that you can do:
- Keep phones out of bedrooms at bedtime. This will help your child develop better sleep habits and prevent staying up late on technology.
- Postpone access to social media as long as possible.
- Delay giving your child a smartphone for as long as you can. A great way to test your children with phones is to use a phone that is just a talk and text phone, and then you can transition to a smartphone later on in their adolescence.
- Set time limits on your children’s phones. This helps you limit how much time you spend on social media or on technology. This will also help you to plan positive activities like going outside or spending time together as a family.
- Don’t be a hypocrite. Children tend to watch their parents and follow what they do. If you are telling your children to spend less time on their phones, but you are fixated on your phone, they will follow your actions and not your words.
You can’t always prevent a divorce or non-intact family but there are many things you can do to help the children within those families. They deserve to be in a happy and healthy living situation. If they have one parent, then that parent should do everything possible to give them the life that they deserve. Even if the child has two parents at home, their parents should still fight to give them the life they deserve as well. Our children need us to be present and aware. They need us to fight for a happy and healthy life.
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Abby Cherry is a senior at Brigham Young University-Idaho and will be graduating in April 2023 with her bachelor’s degree in Marriage and Family Studies. Abby is very passionate about child and family advocacy especially since having her first daughter in July 2022. She was born and raised in Texas and now lives in Idaho with her husband and daughter. After graduation, she plans on working from home to spend more time with her daughter and she eventually wants to obtain a master’s degree in counseling. Abby is very excited to work with UFI this semester and to learn how to advocate for children and families more actively.