As we move into the final week of the two-week meetings for the 68th session of the UN Commission on the Status of Women (CSW), we are happy to share some of the challenges and the successes. UFI was honored to have as part of our team: 16 students, five professors, and 11 staff, volunteers and board members – 32 people in total! And, we kept everyone busy as the UFI team:
• successfully launched the two-day Conference on the State of Women & Family (CSWF), including sponsoring a packed networking reception on the last evening.
• sponsored a CSWF event which featured remarks from the Hungarian Ambassador to the UN and three professors – along with a panel of four of UFI’s team of college students.
• visited with representatives from 15 UN missions and shared UFI resources/tools.
• attended and monitored a long, long list of side and parallel events.
• managed a social media presence that allowed us to spread our message even further.
We feel confident in saying: we made the pro-family presence known at CSW!
We want to thank everyone who joined us and recognized the sacrifices they made to be there and thanks to those who donated funds to make the successes possible.
But there were some interesting challenges and even threats as our group circulated among the 10,000 + people (mostly women) who attended CSW. Alexis Goodman took the time to interview and then write about the circumstances surrounding the behavior of one particular activist group. Although the activists’ behavior was highly disturbing, our UFI team handled the situation with grace and had a profound learning moment.
With gratitude,
Wendy Wixom, President
United Families International
College Students and Professors are Threatened at the UN
By Alexis Goodman
As the United Nations has a creed of fostering peace, security, and civility in the world, we therefore expect the actions of the UN to reflect this. Very rarely does expectation coalesce with reality, however, this was certainly the case at arguably the largest event the UN sponsors each year. The annual Commission on the Status of Women (CSW) gathers interested women, stakeholders, non-governmental organizations, and countries from around the world to discuss the issues facing the women of today – and tomorrow.
This year marks the 68th CSW and United Families International (UFI) took their traditional pilgrimage to the United Nations with the task of representing the pro-family world. Accompanying this entourage was a group of college students and professors.
Not too long after our arrival in New York City, we became aware of a parallel event covering the topic: “The Intersection of Trans and Sex Workers Rights: Dismantling Barriers to Equality (an event held in conjunction with CSW but not within the United Nations campus). Many of the students and professors desired to attend this event over other options.
When asked, most of the student’s explained their preference was out of curiosity and a desire for furthered understanding. Not a single one alluded to any eagerness for contention, opposition, or looking for a fight. Not a single one. And yet, that is what they found.
It could be argued that tensions rose because of one word: Religion.
When the students entered the room where the event was being held, they dispersed to find seating, with one student saying she sought out middle row seats because, “I did feel almost like this sense of…wanting other people to be able to sit up close who aligned a little bit more with them, that way I didn’t feel like I was rushing them or intimidating them.” One of the professors attending with UFI engaged in conversation with the individual seated next to him. The individual was a man identifying as a woman and called himself “Daria.”
The professor, relating his career, was quickly asked what he taught. “I teach religion at a private school,” he said and with just that single utterance, Daria presumably began to speed text all of his associates in the room. Before long, the entirety of the college student group started receiving covert glances and glares. One of the professors surmised the following actions perfectly: “After introducing ourselves in a friendly, curious way to our neighbors, we were targeted, surrounded, photographed, and threatened by organizers of the event who moved from the reserved seats at the front of the room to sit near our group.”
Despite all of this, the students and professors sought to find understanding and hear the stories being told in a compassionate way. They listened as the four speakers shared their experiences. All four were sex workers, and two were transgender. Each of the students and professors agreed that the event was filled with “zero research and all anecdotes and stories.”
A student, when asked his thoughts about the beginning part of the event, said, “It was shocking to hear the depravity sex workers and trans have to live with in Ghana and Uganda. I was sad to hear that many are targeted for violence, are denied housing, and other basic human rights violations. While I disagreed with the premises of their proposed solutions, I felt safe in the audience.”
Another student explained, “…as the panelists recounted their personal struggles, my heart swelled with empathy. Their stories evoked profound compassion within me. My compassion waned as they opened the Q&A, though.”
When the Q&A began one of the panelists prefaced with:
“We are going to open up for question and answer. And I am going to be very direct, if you are an anti-sex worker don’t get up and ask a question. We don’t need you to lecture us because we already know what you are going to say and we have already rebutted that, every question that you, or every fight, argument that you pit against sex workers or transgenders, we already rebutted for so long… and so if you have a question to support us, please stand up.”
Immediately after, a woman who one of the students said, “didn’t appear to be part of the panel but definitely part of the organization” stood and issued a statement aimed at the “opposition in the room.” She gritted her teeth, and her exact words were:
“I would also like to add to that, if you are anti-gay, anti-trans, anti-ever in this room, have the dignity to leave…we’ve been murdered, we’ve been choked, we’ve been–like was said today, a little bit earlier, we have a foot and we’ll step on your neck. So, leave!”
During those two rants, the room would “explode with enthusiasm” as one student observed, with cheers, clapping, and “Amens” all around. The UFI group stated that they felt threatened, uncomfortable, unwelcome, in danger, attacked, unsafe, bullied, and “…it felt more aggressive towards, almost to not even to my belief system, but to me as an individual.” Another student had the unfortunate experience of being seated very close to the woman who had made the threat, and said, “At this point I felt very uncomfortable and unwelcome, possibly even in danger of verbal harassment or light physical violence. The woman who had made the threat was sitting directly beside me!”
All the students interviewed concluded that the outburst, and the reaction that accompanied it, was the climax of the parallel event.
Each of the statements and testimonials given by the students had a similar sentiment about the entire event, with one student encapsulating it perfectly: “For a certain population to claim they want to be “seen” and “heard,” they sure know how to prevent those opportunities from occurring.” The religion professor agreed with this and said, “It was so confusing. You want to be heard, but you want us to leave, you want us to understand you, but don’t ask…questions. I can’t understand you without questions, and if I leave, I can’t hear you.”
An important point to make, as a student recounted in her statement, is the media, and the world as a whole, will completely ignore the threat made against these students and their professors. She said, “I thought how if I had said that to them, the whole nation would be in an uproar and I’d be shamed; yet when it was said about me, there was an overwhelming amount of support.”
By no means should such aggressive and venomous words be encouraged, from either side. One of the attending professors made the comment: “I have never felt more unsafe or more protective of my students at the UN. I was sad that we were publicly bullied during an event we attended to increase our compassion and understanding of marginalized communities. Organizers said: ‘No hate allowed in this room.’ They failed to notice that the only hate in the room was coming from their mouths.”
It’s not entirely clear how this dialogue was meant to further the advancements of women and girls, nor is it obvious why the majority of the panel were adult males, but one thing can be certain: The United Nations and Commission on the Status of Women cannot continue allowing such behavior. As the pro-family and pro-life coalition is being threatened and pushed out of the workings of the United Nations, the United Nations would do well to review their original purpose of peace, security, and civility.
To read the full testimonials, continue reading below. To hear a clip of the threat, click here.
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Alexis Goodman was raised on a ranch in Dadeville, Missouri. She loves spending time with her husband, reading, hiking mountains, and learning new hobbies. She is currently a student at Brigham Young University-Idaho, where she is working to get a degree in Political Science with an emphasis on American Government.
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Transcribed Interviews
Male student 1:
I expected some exasperated tension because of being a white man. However, I did not anticipate the anger they portrayed.
The threats were unnecessary and unprofessional. For a certain population to claim they want to be “seen” and “heard”, they sure know how to prevent those opportunities from occurring.
My intention going into the event was to learn and find things I have in common with the trans population. I had genuine questions and was hoping for healthy conversations to take place, but I was not welcome to share. I found it sad that I was not provided the opportunity to connect and influence others from this group.
It’s unfortunate that these individuals had a preconceived bias on the type of person I am based on a pure assumption. As ironic as it seems, I think the individuals who threaten members of the group are hypocrites with a double standard. (Idk how to say that lovingly.)
I also understand that this population has been confronted and threatened more times than I can count. However, understandable is not justifiable. If I have a message I want to share, I’m going to be approachable and professional in order to represent myself and my community in a respectful way. The unfortunate truth for me is that the trans and sex worker population are not ready to have a voice if they are not ready to put their pride behind them.
I genuinely hope this population gets the peace they are looking for. However, I came to the United Nations with the intention of advocating for the well-being of children. I can honestly say that with the aggressive and negative environment I entered, that I don’t believe children should be around people with so much hate. Therefore, until an individual is able to educate themselves and practice emotional regulation, the fundamental idea of what a family is should not be accessible by trans couples.
Male student 2:
I expected to learn more about the connection between transgender issues and sex worker issues.
The panel consisted of the following:
- The moderator was a trans (MTF), black sex worker from Canada
- one panelist was a trans (MTF), black sex worker from Uganda
- one panelist was a black, male sex worker from Ghana
- one panelist was a black, female sex worker (called herself a trans-activist) from New York
In her introduction, the New Yorker mentioned she led a group to defeating some sort of police work or legislation that was encroaching on sex workers ability to work in NY. In describing their efforts, she said that they put “their boots on their throats,” and we’re successful in thwarting the opposition. The panel and much of the audience cheered at the comment.
The moderator then asked a few prepared questions of the panelists. It was shocking to hear the depravity sex workers and trans live with in Ghana and Uganda. I was sad to hear that many are targeted for violence, are denied housing, and other basic human rights violations. While I disagreed with the premises of their proposed solutions, I felt safe in the audience.
Then the moderator opened up to audience Q&A. At this point, a women seated directly behind me stood up and said, in effect: “If you’re anti-trans or anti-sex worker, we don’t want to hear from you. Get out. We have a boot and we’ll put it to your throats.” The panel and much of the audience cheered at this. The moderator added, “We’ve already heard everything you people have to say, and we’ve rebutted it so don’t bother asking a question.” A woman sitting in the row with me looked over and glared at me.
At this point I felt very uncomfortable and unwelcome, possibly even in danger of verbal harassment or light physical violence. The woman who had made the threat was sitting directly behind me!
Part way into the Q&A, the woman that made the threat tapped me on the arm and the following conversation enfolded:
Her: why aren’t you clapping?
Me: because I don’t understand everything that is being said. I don’t know what I’d be clapping for.
Her: we know you’re anti so why don’t you just leave?
Me: Well, I’m here to learn. I had no idea these conditions were happening around the world.
Her: where are you from?
Me: Las Vegas. Are you from here in New York?
Her: Yeah, I’m from New York. So, what are you then: anti-trans, anti-sex worker, anti-gay…
Me: I’m gay…
Her: Oh…
She stopped talking to me after that but the intensity with which she spoke was intimidating. I was very distracted the rest of the meeting because of her proximity. I didn’t know what she was going to do. It was a very unnerving situation. It was the first time in a long time that I was targeted with such vitriol for assumed beliefs.
Female student 1:
As I entered the room, I felt a whole lot of nerves and left feeling even worse, rattled if you will. Texas, where I spent my teen years, is very conservative and I generally agreed with the majority of people there. Conservative ideologies seemed to dominate my college campus as well. Interactions with those differing viewpoints were rare occurrences. Coming to the UN meant I could hear different views in an open, safe dialogue where both sides could be heard. That was not my experience during this event, however.
While we were piling in, a girl sat beside one of the professors with UFI, scanning his notes while covertly messaging or jotting down her own thoughts. There was also a trans woman at the front who continuously cast disdainful glances at him, a distraction, quite frankly. Despite this, as the panelists recounted their personal struggles, my heart swelled with empathy. Their stories evoked profound compassion within me. My compassion waned as they opened the Q&A, though.
As the moderator was opening up the Q&A, they said something to the effect of “if you disagree with us, don’t get up and ask a question. We’ve heard it all and have rebutted it all. So please, only get up if you have a question to support us.” Immediately after this, a woman in the back of the room said “I’d also like to add to that. If you’re anti-gay, anti-trans, whoever in this room, have the dignity to leave.” She went on to say, very aggressively, “We have a foot, and we’ll step on your neck! So leave!” This was followed by the audience cheering and clapping.
The compassion I felt so strongly for these people immediately left my heart. I felt attacked and defensive. I’ve heard nasty things about people in the LGBTIQ+ community and have always known that, just like every generalization, this wasn’t true for everyone in this community. As soon as this was said though, and with everyone in that room clapping and cheering, it was hard to not see the community as a whole that way.
I thought, “how am I supposed to know what they’re going through if I’m not allowed to ask questions or even be in the room?” They didn’t even know what I believed, they just saw our CSWF [Conference on the State of Women and Family] pins and knew we didn’t agree with theirs. I thought, ‘if I had said that to them, the whole nation would be in uproar and I’d be shamed, yet when it was said about me there was an overwhelming amount of support.’
I still know that not everyone is that way, but now I have the difficult task of not seeing every LGBTIQ+ person through this lens. There are kind and unkind people in every group of people. I hate being treated differently for what someone thinks I believe, and I try my best to not do that to others. I hope those involved see the negative effect they had and will strive to do better.
Female Professor:
As a university professor I brought both college students and high school students to a parallel event to hear the stories of black trans sex workers. After introducing ourselves in a friendly, curious way to our neighbors, we were targeted, surrounded, photographed, and threatened by organizers of the event who moved from the reserved seats at the front of the room to sit near our group.
The moderator and organizers in the room made comments saying that we were unable to ask questions and by using the threat that they “have their foot putting pressure on our neck” they made it clear that if you did not support the LGBTQI movement you did not belong in the room. Students were asked why they weren’t clapping and were asked “Why are you here? What are you against?” A gay student was bullied until he had to out himself saying, “I am here to learn, I am gay.” Our pictures were taken against our will. There was a definite text chain happening with organizers texting, overtly reading the notes we were taking on our phones and moving their bodies to block our view of the speakers.
I have never felt more unsafe or more protective of my students at the UN. I was sad that we were publicly bullied during an event we attended to increase our compassion and understanding of marginalized communities. Organizers said, “No hate is allowed in this room.” They failed to notice that the only hate in the room was coming from their mouths.
Female student 2:
I noticed that they looked in our direction a lot during the event, and they looked directly at us when they made the comment about people who disagree with them. They said that they don’t want to hear anything from those who disagree because they already have a prepared rebuttal for everything we could say. That’s when the lady stood and added to their comment and said they would step on our necks. It felt that they were very closed minded and did not want to have an honest conversation or share a respectful environment. They only wanted validation.
Male student 3:
I walked in and I was excited and a little nervous. It was my first time being in a room with a trans-person and being aware of it. Sitting down, I remember trying to talk to the person next to me, but they ignored me and my friend, which was fine, I guess.
I was also excited. I have attended two universities and the program I’m attending now expects us to put ourselves in the shoes of people whose viewpoints we initially disagree with or that are different from our own upbringing. This is so that we can see both sides of an issue. I love that and I was excited for this meeting.
The panelists started speaking and I felt like I should have done homework because I didn’t understand a lot of the bills they were talking about for specific countries. Which I suppose is to be expected. Google became my best friend and I understood more.
The discussion tone changed pretty quickly as they declared that some of the “white men” who oppose them are in this room. It got more intense as they stated that they have already heard and beat all the opinions that are against them and that anyone “Anti-gay, anti-trans, anti-anyone-in-this-room should have the dignity to leave.” That was joined by a comment that if you don’t staunchly agree, don’t stay or speak up. I guess “anyone in this room” didn’t include me. It was confusing because nobody was doing anything to hate-on the panel or the trans or sex workers in the audience so the ’received threat seemed overblown.
I felt further concern when they said to these “dissenters”: “we have a boot to your neck” which was met by applause and cheers. Clearly my voice was not welcome. Less intense comments in the same vein continued. I decided not to participate in the Q/A of a discussion that was potentially threatening. But I still wanted to stay and see what was said till the end. There was further applause at a comment something to the effect of “we have shut them up.”
(Five other testimonials were taken by way of interviews and were recorded)