The last line of the article on CNN Living should be the first line of every piece that is written about marriage—“Divorce is not an option.” “Children of divorce vow to break cycle, create enduring marriages” has a positive message and shares some great information. Frankly we were surprised. Usually articles written about divorce are written to downplay its devastating impact on children and the adults who are actors in each divorce’s tragic saga. The message is more often than not “don’t worry…everyone will eventually get over the pain and besides we just HAVE to have unilateral (one spouse decides) divorce laws…”
Here are some interesting statistics gleaned from the article:
- “The risk of divorce is 50 percent higher when one spouse comes from a divorced home, and 200 percent higher risk when both of them do.”
- “Children of divorce are 50 percent more likely to marry another child of divorce.”
- “Children with divorced parents face inability to trust; they have no role models for commitment.”
But here’s the encouraging news:
- “Divorce in a family can sometimes help children strengthen their own relationships with their future partner. Their resolve to make their own marriage work is deepened.”
- “Children of divorced parents may be more likely to spot a troubled partner and avoid toxic relationships.”
- One couple interviewed holds tightly to the motto, “Divorce is not an option.”
We say “amen” to that that. Imagine the difference in the divorce rate if every couple approached every inevitable challenge in a marriage with that understanding.
“I didn’t marry you because you were perfect. I didn’t even marry you because I loved you. I married you because you gave me a promise. That promise made up for your faults. And the promise I gave you made up for mine. Two imperfect people got married and it was the promise that made the marriage. And when our children were growing up, it wasn’t a house that protected them; and it wasn’t our love that protected them—it was that promise.”
–Thornton Wilder, author