January 27, 2025
By Rachel Schnepf
How easy is it to get a divorce in today’s day and age? Living in the United States, I can say it depends on the state in which you live. Some require a couple to meet a certain criteria like being separated for a set time period before filing for divorce. Or they need legitimate reasons like physical abuse or insanity. Most states have a mandatory waiting period, while a few others like Minnesota and Nevada do not.
Since the 1970s, most states have adopted a ‘no-fault’ divorce policy, meaning the original reasons for divorce like adultery, impotency, or physical abuse are not required. People are able to get divorced because they no longer want to be together. These can be reasons like they grew apart, or are no longer attracted to one another. Or some want a divorce because they want a different life due to stressors that are hard for them to work through like financial hardships or sickness.
In an article published by Forbes, it stated that per a survey they sent out, the number one leading cause for divorce was lack of family support at 43%. Following that reason was infidelity and then closely followed was lack of compatibility or intimacy, both at 31%. 24% of couples stated that financial stress was their reason for divorcing. All of these, apart from infidelity, can be reasons to divorce in a no-fault divorce.
But is getting a divorce too easy, especially for those who have children? Are these ‘no-fault’ reasons good enough to cut ties and rip apart children’s homes? Are waiting periods merely a hindrance to a family’s peace of mind?
I would say no. Divorce has temporary and life-lasting effects on children, particularly for those who are pulled and pushed throughout the divorce proceedings and afterwards. They have a higher likelihood of struggling academically, have poorer health, have problems with drugs or alcohol, and lose connection to their parents. I have personally watched the struggles that children have faced because of divorce. Those close to me lost their hair from the stress, another of their siblings had to take anti-depressants, and another became more rebellious. Children whose parents are divorcing are hurting inside through it all, just as much, if not more, than the couple involved.
Waiting periods can be very beneficial for those who don’t have the underlying reasons like infidelity or abuse, because as an article from American Values stated, in more than a third of the couples in divorce court, at least one of the parties would like to reconcile their marriage. Giving a waiting period where couples can work on their differences could help potentially keep a third of families stay together.
But waiting periods can also be difficult to navigate, especially when it comes to abuse or infidelity. If a person and/or their children are in a dangerous situation, waiting periods are roadblocks to finding safety and a new life. In my opinion, waiting periods or periods of separation should not be required for these types of situations. But I do believe they can be beneficial for couples who are struggling and have just not found a resource to help them overcome their marital strife.
For those who are going through hardships and it has taken a toll on your marriage and family, go for help like marriage counseling, financial advising, or extended family for support in cases of disability or sickness. You can also go to your religious leaders for counsel and support. But the repercussions that divorce has on children should make every couple think twice or even one hundred times about divorce and what it would mean for their family.
