In the Public Square: Responsible Voices on Family Issues
Same-sex marriage: What about the human rights of Children?
by Louis DeSerres, Montréal, Canada
Proponents of same sex marriage claim that granting them the right to marry has no effects on you and me. They conveniently forget those who do not have a voice: their very own children.
While there are many good reasons for favoring marriage exclusively between one man and one woman, it appears that none of these reasons was sufficient, in the eyes of judges in Massachusetts or in Canada for that matter, to maintain the traditional definition. In their ruling mandating same-sex marriage for the state, the judges wrote: “the Commonwealth… has failed to identify any constitutionally adequate reason for denying civil marriage to same sex couples.” Quite simply, on marriage, equality rights for gays and lesbians trump everything else! Put another way, in Massachusetts as in Canada, marriage and the family do not enjoy constitutional protection. Individuals do.
Let’s get back to children. Is there a more natural and self evident birth right for a child than to have a mother and a father?
Let us illustrate with a fictionalized example based on two caring married gay men who decide they want a child of their own, a child they can love and cherish. With outside help, a woman in another locality agrees to act as a surrogate mother.
Emily is born nine months later and is taken away from her mother. The bond Emily established while in her mother’s womb is broken. She will miss the reassuring sound of her mother’s heartbeat that she became used to while in the womb. She won’t know the joys of being breast fed, nor reap the health benefits thereof.
Emily is in kindergarten now. She can’t help but notice that most of her classmates have moms. Although everyone is perfectly respectful of her different family situation, Emily wonders why she doesn’t have a mother and feels rejected, wondering why her mother did not want her. Otherwise, why did she abandon her? Emily keeps her pain to herself.
One day, Emily asks: “Daddy, where do babies come from?” When her dad explains about the “birds and the bees”, Emily asks a question that has been on her mind for a long time: “Where is my mother? Why don’t I have one? I want my mom.” He then explains that she was brought into the world by a surrogate mother and given to him and his partner at birth. He explains that the woman was really very generous to allow them to have such a sweet little girl.
Emily then counters: “Why doesn’t my mother live with me?” He then tells Emily that he is gay and that he loves men, not women. He tries to reassure Emily and hopes she understands, but Emily is upset by this. Emily thinks to herself, but doesn’t dare say anything: “Does this mean he doesn’t love me, because I am a girl?”
When she reaches puberty, Emily starts to notice changes in her body, but is too embarrassed to talk about it. Emily’s girlfriends talk to their mothers, but who can she talk to? Who will understand her? Her dad – which one? Neither, they are both men! “They can’t possibly understand!” How embarrassing! How frustrating!
Emily might ask: “I thought politicians were supposed to protect me. Why did they let two men who are sexually attracted to each other deprive me of my birth right to a mother? Did they ever ask themselves how I might feel?”
While gays and lesbians have various recourses against discrimination, what recourse does Emily have? None! Can the law offer any remedy for her loss? Ever?
Confronted with the same pressures to allow gays and lesbians to marry, France recently reaffirmed the right of children to both a mother and a father, thus maintaining its prohibition against same sex marriage. “The best interests of the child must prevail over adult freedoms … even including the lifestyle choices of parents.” (Report on the Family and the Rights of Children, French National Assembly, January 25, 2006). The report adds: "to systematically give preference to adult aspirations over respect for these rights is not possible any more."
Same sex marriage takes away the rights of children who cannot possibly defend themselves. Can human rights activists credibly claim that children don’t have rights and thereby allow discrimination against them? In Canada, our former Prime Minister who pressed for same-sex marriage often claimed that one cannot pick and choose whose rights we will defend. His silence about the rights of children was deafening. (Fortunately, our Parliament might revisit the issue next Fall).
The essence of human rights is protecting the weak and disadvantaged against injustice. Children deserve our full protection against discrimination. They have a right to a father and a mother.
Louis DeSerres is the Director of Preserve Marriage – Protect Children’s
Rights
www.preservemarriage.ca, 6235
Deacon rd.,Montréal, Qc H3S 2P6 (514) 733-7708
©2001 - 2007 United Families International. All rights reserved. No content, images, or other information may be used from this site without prior written consent of United Families International or original authors.
